ATTACHMENT STYLES
We are wired for connection.
But how we connect — how we seek closeness, respond to distance, and handle conflict — often depends on the attachment patterns we developed early in life.
This workbook is designed to help you:
Each section includes a clear explanation of the style, how it impacts relationships, and small, practical steps to move toward security. You'll also find journaling prompts and reflection questions to guide your personal growth.
Go at your own pace.
Pause when something resonates.
Be gentle with yourself — healing takes time.
But how we connect — how we seek closeness, respond to distance, and handle conflict — often depends on the attachment patterns we developed early in life.
This workbook is designed to help you:
- Understand your attachment style
- Identify how it shows up in relationships
- Take small steps toward healing and secure connection
Each section includes a clear explanation of the style, how it impacts relationships, and small, practical steps to move toward security. You'll also find journaling prompts and reflection questions to guide your personal growth.
Go at your own pace.
Pause when something resonates.
Be gentle with yourself — healing takes time.
Anxious attachment often finds its roots in relationships that were inconsistent or unpredictable. If you learned early in life that love could be available one moment and withdrawn the next, it makes sense that you'd grow up highly sensitive to any sign of disconnection.
You may notice a pattern in your relationships: a longing for closeness intertwined with a fear that the people you care about might leave, lose interest, or love you less. In response, you might seek constant reassurance, overanalyze small shifts in tone or timing, and feel destabilized by distance - even if it's temporary.
This doesn't mean you're needy or broken. It means your nervous system is alert to relational threats because, at one time, it had to be.
Healing begins when you recognize these patterns not as flaws but as protective adaptations. Learning to self-soothe before seeking reassurance, expressing your needs calmly and clearly, and surrounding yourself with safe, emotionally consistent people can all support your journey toward secure connection. Therapy, journaling, and mindfulness practices may also help you create inner stability, reducing the urge to grasp for external validation.
Security is not the absence of need; it's the presence of trust - in yourself, and in those who've earned it.
You may notice a pattern in your relationships: a longing for closeness intertwined with a fear that the people you care about might leave, lose interest, or love you less. In response, you might seek constant reassurance, overanalyze small shifts in tone or timing, and feel destabilized by distance - even if it's temporary.
This doesn't mean you're needy or broken. It means your nervous system is alert to relational threats because, at one time, it had to be.
Healing begins when you recognize these patterns not as flaws but as protective adaptations. Learning to self-soothe before seeking reassurance, expressing your needs calmly and clearly, and surrounding yourself with safe, emotionally consistent people can all support your journey toward secure connection. Therapy, journaling, and mindfulness practices may also help you create inner stability, reducing the urge to grasp for external validation.
Security is not the absence of need; it's the presence of trust - in yourself, and in those who've earned it.
Avoidant attachment typically develops in environments where emotional expression was discouraged or where independence was overly emphasized at the cost of connection. As a result, you may have learned to rely primarily on yourself and to minimize emotional needs - both your own and others'.
In adult relationships, this may look like a tendency to pull away when things become emotionally intense or vulnerable. You may value autonomy so highly that closeness feels invasive or suffocating. You might find it hard to put feelings into words, or feel uncomfortable when others turn to you with theirs.
Yet underneath this self-sufficiency, there is often a quiet longing - a desire to connect without losing oneself.
Healing avoidant attachment involves gently exploring that tension. You can begin by noticing the moments you feel like withdrawing, and asking yourself: "What feels threatening about this closeness?" Practice tolerating small amounts of emotional intimacy, then taking space to regroup if needed. Learning to name your emotions - even if they feel vague or unfamiliar - is a courageous step toward building more secure connections.
Remember, being emotionally open does not mean being emoti
In adult relationships, this may look like a tendency to pull away when things become emotionally intense or vulnerable. You may value autonomy so highly that closeness feels invasive or suffocating. You might find it hard to put feelings into words, or feel uncomfortable when others turn to you with theirs.
Yet underneath this self-sufficiency, there is often a quiet longing - a desire to connect without losing oneself.
Healing avoidant attachment involves gently exploring that tension. You can begin by noticing the moments you feel like withdrawing, and asking yourself: "What feels threatening about this closeness?" Practice tolerating small amounts of emotional intimacy, then taking space to regroup if needed. Learning to name your emotions - even if they feel vague or unfamiliar - is a courageous step toward building more secure connections.
Remember, being emotionally open does not mean being emoti
Fearful or disorganized attachment often arises from environments where love and fear were deeply intertwined. When caregivers were both a source of comfort and harm, or when emotional chaos replaced safety, the developing self becomes torn: longing for closeness, but also fearing it.
In adult life, this can create an emotional push-pull. You may crave deep connection and yet instinctively sabotage it. You may test others, shut down suddenly, or swing between neediness and avoidance - all in an attempt to stay safe.
If this sounds familiar, it's not because something is wrong with you. It's because your nervous system was shaped by unpredictability, and it's trying to protect you.
Healing starts with creating internal safety. That may mean grounding techniques when you feel overwhelmed, working with a trauma-informed therapist, or learning to observe your own reactions with compassion rather than shame. Secure relationships are still possible, but they often begin with learning to be a safe place for yourself. You are not too much. You are not broken.
You are learning how to feel safe with love - and that's courageous work
In adult life, this can create an emotional push-pull. You may crave deep connection and yet instinctively sabotage it. You may test others, shut down suddenly, or swing between neediness and avoidance - all in an attempt to stay safe.
If this sounds familiar, it's not because something is wrong with you. It's because your nervous system was shaped by unpredictability, and it's trying to protect you.
Healing starts with creating internal safety. That may mean grounding techniques when you feel overwhelmed, working with a trauma-informed therapist, or learning to observe your own reactions with compassion rather than shame. Secure relationships are still possible, but they often begin with learning to be a safe place for yourself. You are not too much. You are not broken.
You are learning how to feel safe with love - and that's courageous work